Creating Dialogue: You Already Know How to Do This

Mediators know dialogue and its value, to be sure. And good mediators are experts at helping create dialogue in some of the most difficult situations.

There are specific ways of thinking about and engaging dialogue that are already known to practiced mediators and which are also relevant to our discussion of marketing. While the following list doesn’t attempt to be all inclusive (that would be another whole book!), I’m attempting to capture a few dialogue-building basics that are highly relevant to you both as mediators and marketers.

The frame of mind with which you enter a conversation helps determine whether or not that conversation reaches the level of true dialogue. As you know from mediating, entering a conversation in order to persuade, manipulate or strong-arm will only get you so far. Such conversations are a trading of assumptions, judgments and diagnoses and can succeed in a positional debate that differs from dialogue. Building dialogue comes from a genuine interest, a willingness to try ideas on for size, a curiosity or learning mindset, and a willingness to uncover assumptions that are derailing effective outcomes.

Good listening is important, as is the artful use of inquiry. The ability to ask useful questions at the right time and with the right language to convey them is a mediator’s stock in trade. Similarly, the ability to distill and reflect what you’ve heard helps you check your own understanding, helps the speaker clarify their own thinking and feeling, and helps others understand the speaker’s perspective more effectively than they may have otherwise. By listening with empathy, the mediator helps bridge divides.

The way the discussion is framed helps define what conversation will ensue. Framing a discussion in one way limits potential or locks it in positional debate. The art of framing or helping parties frame creates opportunity for the meaningful exchange and exploration of ideas. By engaging the conflict at the level sought by parties, the mediator helps people consider and craft outcomes that are the best match for those particular parties’ specific needs. For example, some parties may seek formal resolution to a specific dispute, others relief from a state of conflict, still others the chance to carefully think through a situation without the need for formal agreement.

What else do you find an essential basic frame of mind or skill for building dialogue as a mediator? I’d love to hear what you think belongs on the above short list, so please leave a comment.

Copyright © 2006 by Tammy Lenski. All rights reserved.

Liked this post? A few others to consider:

1. Making Mediation Your Day Job, Part 4: Creating Dialogue with Your Market
2. Marketing as Dialogue: Building on What a Mediator Already Knows
3. Making Mediation Your Day Job, Part 5: Creating Dialogue Online
4. Dialogue Marketing for Mediators: What Would the Dialogue Be About?
5. The Value of Dialogue: What Mediators Already Know